Learning to create in the middle of life
Tactics that help when you want to create but feel stuck
If you know me, you know I like to say that “Your creative life is interconnected with the rest of your life. It doesn’t exist separately on some remote island where you go to do your creative work.”
Sometimes though, if I’m really honest with you, I wish that remote island would exist, though..!! And don’t we all sometimes wish we could just create, and not have to deal with everything else around us: doing the laundry, filing and paying taxes, dealing with the scheduling puzzle of busy family life (or with trying to schedule band rehearsals, anyone..?!? LOL). Not to mention all the input we’re dealing with every single day on our mobile devices, the disturbing news, or the extra mental, emotional and energetic bandwidth it takes to deal with challenging situations that arise in our personal lives and relationships.
It’s A LOT.
And none of us artists escape this. The artist who does their creative work next to a day-job, the singer who pursues an artistic career next to a teaching career, the composer who creates full-time with the support of an artist grant, and the full-time musician who earns a living from various income revenues consisting of playing live gigs, album & merchandise sale, streaming royalties, doing studio sessions, music licensing and sponsorships, the dedicated hobbyist singer who pursues their creative dreams next to a demanding career and a busy family-life…all have to deal with stuff outside of the realm of creating.
As much as I wish I’d have a magic wand to wave and make the things disappear that you feel are keeping you from creating, I have to tell you this truth:
If you want to create, you need to learn to create in the middle of things, in the middle of life.
There is no “perfect time”.
There are no “perfect circumstances”.
Don’t sit around waiting for them, talking about how you wish you could create, how you wish you had more time, more energy, more money, a different job, a different husband/wife…whatever the “I wish”-story you keep telling yourself is.
Also know this:
I’m saying this with SO much love.
Creating in the middle of things” has been extremely challenging for myself personally at times, especially when I’ve been in periods of my life with many life changes, so I can feel your pain if you’re struggling with the same.
Oooh the amount of times I have journaled about feeling stuck and wishing I could escape to that magical island where undisturbed creating takes place..! Here’s what I wrote in my journal on a day 8 years ago:
“…just feeling down down, blocked, not wanting to do anything because it means I have to start dealing with things, reality, computer that seems to have a problem, taxes, plan for my classes, think about money, emails unanswered, what to do with that one course… What’s the reason to why I postpone singing and playing the piano? Don’t wanna disturb my neighbours. That’s ridiculous. If I sing I can’t prepare my lessons. I should do banking stuff, emails, call back about that thing… […] Can’t create unless I have cave time. F**k. I just really don’t see the point in this, am I not just circling around in the same plaintive shit just saying the same things but not getting out trapped trapped trapped wanna escape, escape to where from what - from responsibilities.”
For years, I’ve found myself in periods when I was complaining in my journal about how I wished I could create more, and then circling into self-judgment and calling myself lazy, and a bunch of other not-so-nice things.
At least I seemed to catch myself circling around in complaint in this specific journal entry - which was good, because you can’t change what you aren’t aware of!
How to become a person who creates in the middle of life
The language you use when you talk about your creative work, projects & dreams matters! Your words hold enormous creative power in them. Saying “I wish…”, for example “I wish I had more time…”, diminishes your energy and puts you in a victim-mode. Saying “I intend to create time for…”, or “I intend to create for X minutes, no matter what”, or “I intend to create before…”, puts you in control.
What has helped me personally is to learn to prioritise my own creativity above all. It's not a negotiable thing as in “I can either create or…”, it’s as important as brushing my teeth every day. Sometimes this requires a kind of “selfishness” that I’ve had to learn - and to actually learn that there’s nothing wrong with being “selfish” and prioritising your own creativity! If you’re not going to be “selfish” and prioritise your own creativity, who is? (The answer is: nobody will prioritise it for you). I’ve needed to learn to not feel guilty when I can’t be social because I need to create, for example. Or making sure that I have created before helping others to create and supporting them in their singing goals. Or communicating about my creating time needs to the people in my life, instead of feeling bad about it, over-committing to things I actually can’t do and I’d end up feeling resentment about it because I didn’t get my creative work done.
Because I’m a single person, I know the fear of becoming an isolated hermit can be lurking around the corner, so just as much as I prioritise creating I also make sure I have social appointments in my schedule. This actually helps me falling into the other “creating trap”: not being able to stop, and over-doing your creative work sessions.
I’ve also learned to lower my expectations about what creating looks like. That 5-10 minutes of vocal practice in the middle of the day also is creating. That I can write down ideas that turn into longer pieces of writing while I’m commuting. That I can record myself voice notes with song sketches or writing ideas when I’m out on a walk. That I can practice improvising over a certain modal scale or harmonic sequence while I’m driving the car. That I can sing my feelings or write short poems or lines of lyrics about them. That “creating content” to grow my social media following can be linked with my own creative practice, not something that is separate from it. That a 30 minute writing session is enough, it doesn’t need to be a huge chunk of time.
Some of the tactics that I use when I feel stuck and want to create:
Movement: whenever I feel “stuck” I usually either go out for a walk, or put on music and move the stuck energy out of my body & mind through dancing and intuitive movement. I keep curated playlists for this, so I don’t have to get even more stuck searching for music - I just click “play” and get moving!
I also use a similar tactic that’s based in specific vocal improvisation practices that help me connect to my imagination & creativity, and I quite fast end up getting “unstuck”. Suddenly, the Resistance that told me “I wanna sing but I feel so stuck I can’t even sing” changes to me wanting to sing more. I do these practices a cappella, and I also use loops and curated playlists of tracks that are great to improvise over. I’ve used vocal improvisation practices with my vocal coaching clients too, and they love it just like I do.
My artistic medium is music - and writing - but I also like intuitive painting. I keep a relatively big canvas at home that I paint on whenever I feel "stuck". I pick colors and paint intuitively, it's always the same canvas, always shifting and changing. Somehow this canvas reminds me that life is like this too: always shifting and changing.
Whenever I find myself in the middle of conflict, I connect to my center through meditation, and “clean” the conflict energy in my energy field with the help of energy practices.
Accountability helps me too. Showing proof of my work and of my practice, no matter how little I was able to get done, at least I showed up, and if I keep showing up, I keep moving forward (instead of remaining stuck). Because I know the power of sharing your work, the majority of my coaching programs have some kind of accountability system integrated in them.
What helps you getting unstuck? Join me in the subscriber chat to share your personal experiences and favourite tactics!
So much love,
Katja
